The two words that have kept my marriage till now are, “No Competition and No Going Back.” A good marriage is a platform self-determination and discipline. It is called no retreat no surrender. In my view, competition is on the platform of inferiority complex and going back to single life is the jargon of babies.
The law of competition states, losers are the best enemy of the winner, and every lost event is a platform for animosity. The law of Going-Back states no one can go forward looking backward.
Competition in marriage is the gateway to divorce and Going-Back to single life is the sign of childishness. Competition creates enemy and going back speaks of one’s childishness.
You cannot win your spouse and still expect love. Expecting love from a competitor is the platform for pain and frustration. Every time you are declaring or claim you are a winner, you have successfully created a distance that cannot be bridged. In the same vein, you will always go in the direction that you are looking. Looking back will always make you go back. One thing that I know very well is that God does not lead backward, He will always lead forward.
You are your spouse and your spouse is you. Whatever your spouse possess is for you and whatever you have also belonged to your spouse.
This is the secret, competing with your spouse is simply self-hatred, and having an option in marriage is the highway to divorce. Let go of your ex and never compare your spouse with your past.
“For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.” I Cor 12:12
“But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62
“And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25
Stop competing and stop comparing. Let your old relationship be the things of the past. Remember, old things have passed away. Therefore, instead of competition think completion and instead of going back think going forward.
Remember, keep loving your own spouse, that is all that you have got.